RED HAT

By CARA BAYLES | PHOTOS BY DEREK KOUYOUMJIAN

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I was sent to Red Hat on a mission. Tucked snugly between City Hall and the State House, the editorial staff reasoned I was sure to stumble (literally) across politicians drinking after a long day of legislatin', so it was imperative I drink on a weekday. "Then you'll catch 'em!" was the refrain. Our bartenders assured me and my trusty wing-woman Rudy that pols do in fact hang out there—along with Suffolk students, yuppies, professors, TV reporters, hot Australian tourists and, according to my notes, nachos. But, five drinks in, I'm still unclear on who would be catching who.

Drink 1: Cantaloupe Martini ($10.50). I'm not usually a martini fan, but this concoction of Stoli peach vodka, watermelon liqueur and orange juice tastes like something a boozing pixie would serve to keep you from aging. Or sitting still. Our bartender Christine has worked at Red Hat for two years now and knows the drill. "This part of town is pretty dead on the weekend," she says. "It's mostly an after-work crowd, but Friday night is the busiest, and Saturday will pick up now that the students are back."

Drink 2: Ketel One lemonade ($7). The downstairs is empty, so there's no "popular drink," plus Christine tells us that the politicians we're hunting for generally dwell upstairs. Mia, the upstairs bartender, tells us that the lemonade is pretty popular, especially as a pitcher. I get a glass and it's sweet, tart and tastes treacherously non-alcoholic. Upstairs has the same menu as its subterranean counterpart, but with more light, stained glass fixtures and cool murals of old Scollay Square.

Drink 3: Rum and pineapple juice ($5.50). Of course the first person to come in recognizes me, because—shit!—she knows my dad. She tells us a story about going to a bar with a friend. "We were the oldest people there. It was that kind of bar," she says. "The bartender brings us two drinks and says it's from a gentleman, and right before I take my first sip, another bartender swoops in and gives our drinks to the two women sitting next to us, the chickies." Mia says the bartender was in poor form.

Drink 4: Red Hat Lager ($3). A crisp, light beer, predictably made by Busch. Mia, who moved here from New Jersey because Boston is the "bar capital of the US," says she comes here even when she's not working. "It's a good neighborhood bar," she says. Plus, you get 10-cent wings all day for Sunday football, and Wednesday nights there's team trivia with half-priced apps.

Drink 5: Scooby Snack ($6.50). My buddy Bree shows up and takes some pictures that I can't explain the next day (why are we all wearing sunglasses?). We've got 20 minutes before 5pm and I'm wailing, "We're not gonna make it!" so Mia cooks up this lime green shot with Malibu, Midori and a splash of pineapple juice and milk (she actually makes two batches because we talked so long, the milk separated on round one, and it's not advisable to drink that). I don't remember meeting any politicians, but I'm pretty sure that's a good thing.