RESIDENT EVIL: EXTINCTION

By ROB TURBOVSKY

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How the fuck did Resident Evil become a trilogy? It seems like only yesterday I walked out of the original with a vague taste of shit in my mouth, and now comes Resident Evil: Extinction to make me nostalgic for the subtle piquancy of its predecessors. This time, Alice (Milla Jovovich) has to fight off zombie hordes while traversing the desert. If that sounds like an R-rated Oregon Trail, relax, it's not nearly as interesting as, say, dysentery. Director Russell Mulcahy's previous credits include Highlander and the video for Billy Joel's "A Matter of Trust," which makes him either Hollywood's most versatile hack or a fucking lunatic. Once upon a time, terrible third installments were forgivable because they'd have some redeeming purpose, like prominently featuring Ewoks or making a box set possible. We've already seen Jovovich's nipples, so unless they're going to bring in ZZ Top, this series peaked too early.