The Cuban Wedding

By amherstgirls on Tue, Jun 24, 2008 9:54 am

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Sorry, I've gotten behind in posting her Blog here because when classes at U Mass ended I went to Europe. Here is the latest from http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com You are most likely behind on a good 10 posts:

Over the weekend I attended a wedding with one of my clients, we will call him Mr. Cuba. When I’m with Mr. Cuba we look like an actual couple because he is handsome, refined and Latino and we are very comfortable with one another. I received a last minute request to be his wedding date earlier last week. My guess is he had plans on taking someone other than myself, but got stuck alone and needed someone convincing to take his original guests place. I am a great stand in if I may say so myself because I can talk to anyone about anything at anytime and I’m well rounded and most importantly in this case I am Cuban. So, while I pat myself on the back at how refined, brilliant and articulate I am, lets remember that I am also an occasional klutz, I speak my mind and I speak limited and I mean very limited Spanish. Ok, so now that you have the background, let me add in a few other details. Cuban weddings are unlike any other wedding. You can be dirt poor as a Cuban and you will have a huge wedding with every cousin, uncle and associate invited. There is more food than your eyes and especially my eyes should see and the music is also phenomenal with a live Salsa band. Everyone gets dressed to the nines with their tight, bright sexy clothing and they are ready to PARTY. A Cuban wedding is best described as a party with lots of food and liquor. Although most of the attendees speak English no one does, except to me and even though I couldn’t understand what they were saying to me in Spanish the look in their eyes said it all. They were wondering what kind of parents I had that didn’t insist of speaking Spanish in the home. lol I just love being Hispanic. Anyway, I learned ONLY AFTER I accepted the date that I would also be a bridesmaid. Hold on! What? Yes, you heard me correctly I was going to be a bridesmaid to a complete stranger. That is why I was so pissed in the comments section last week because it made no sense. According to Mr. Cubano the bride got in to a huge fight with one of her bridesmaids and needed a replacement quick, so instead of being normal and asking one of her cousins or girlfriends to take her place she asked Mr. Cuba if his girlfriend would be in the wedding. So, that is how I got involved in this mess.

A day later I received a phone call from Jaslene (the bride) asking for my measurements. I had no clue, so I told her I was a size 12, which in bridal wear means a bloody 14. FAT COW. She actually gasped. I heard that bitch GASP. She said apologetically “ok, mamita I will order your dress larger and we will take it in. Thank you for agreeing to do this”. Then she broke out with the Spanish and I responded in Spanish that I don’t speak it very well even though I am Cuban. GASP. I’m sorry, but if this bitch didn’t stop gasping I was going to kick her ass down the aisle. She apologized for assuming I spoke Spanish and said that I needed to be in (can’t say location because I already told too many people I was going out of town) on Friday morning to get ready and be a part of all of the festivities. Here is the kicker Mr. Cuba wasn’t even going to be in town until Saturday NIGHT, so I went to the anonymous location to meet complete strangers to be part of a wedding for a bride I had never met. Boy was I aggravated. I do not like surprises unless they are in gift boxes.

Friday at 10 AM I arrived at the anonymous destination and I was met by 6 very excited, extremely animated (and I’m animated so I know what I speak of) Latinas. They spotted me immediately, as I already informed the bride of my attire (blue jeans, white tank top, red cardigan (over the shoulders) and my FABULOUS red Campari’s (Manolo Blahnik’s)). They were screaming “OMG you are so cute” another “Thank God because we didn’t know what to expect” “You don’t look like a size 12” “Are you sure you don’t speak Spanish?” “Do you drink?”. I was thinking yes, bitches I drink and right about now I need a bottle. We jumped in the brides Escalade and ended up at an exquisite bridal boutique. Now I was excited. Even though I am strictly against marriage I do love to dress up and if I am to partake in anything resembling a wedding I shall be wearing either a Monique Lhuillier or a Vera Wang ensemble and that’s that. I saw my dress and it took my breath away. This bride had excellent taste and it fit me perfectly and guess what? I wasn’t a 14 in it. Thank god. The dress was so beautiful that I will be wearing it on dates. I was in a great mood now and I had my champagne too, so you know I was happy.

Us gals then went to lunch and had a few more drinks. The women were educated, smart, gorgeous and classy, not that I expected anything less from my date, but you never know in these situations. After lunch they dropped me off at my hotel and picked me up later in the evening to get ready for the bachelorette party. YIPPY, a bitch (that would be me) loves bachelorette parties, except I forgot that I am suppose to have a boyfriend (my date) and so I couldn’t get buck wild (or so I thought). Oh yeah because my real life so-called “boyfriend” and I broke up before I flew out of town over nonsense. Excuse me, but just because I have seen you TWICE and screwed you once for a WHOLE 5 MINUTES does not mean we are in a relationship. Yes ladies 5 minutes and you think I want to keep you around negro (FYI I can say this word you can't)? BOY BYE get the f*ck out of here! Whatever, ok let me get back on topic you know me and my adult ADD.

The bachelorette party was off the hook (wild) male strippers (which do absolutely nothing for me), tons of booze (Boston term: alcohol) male hookers, now that was a first for me. I have never in my life come across a straight male hooker and these men were FINE. I almost asked to exchange services with “Darryl” YUMMY, but I behaved myself and did NOTHING. After the girls were finished getting sucked and fucked we went to the club and Lord have mercy did the party go to a whole other level. When Usher said “I wanna make love in the club” I had no idea people actually took it literally. These bitches were f*cking in the club, even the BRIDE with strangers. Yes, I know I am judgmental as hell, but really sex in the club?

I woke up the next AFTERNOON with a splitting headache and nauseous. I had room service send up a greasy cheeseburger with fries a side of mayo and ketchup with a bottle of champagne to wash it all down. Shut up, I needed the champagne to even me out a bit. As I was stuffing my face with my burger while in the bed the house line (hotel phone) rang. It was Mr. Cuba informing me that he arrived early and was on his way to my room in a few minutes. WHAT? I jumped up spilled my champagne all over the bed while the burger fell to the ground, tripped over my shoes that were left beside my bed from the night before, damn near sprained my thumb AGAIN (oh I forgot to tell you about that) while trying to take a military shower (10 seconds), got out the shower and didn’t put down the mat and slipped nearly breaking my neck while reaching for my robe, unwrapped my hair (no matter what time I get in or how drunk I am I NEVER forget to wrap my hair) threw on my bathrobe and there it was the knock on the door. F*CK I forgot to brush my teeth.

Shortly after Mr. Cuba arrived I was summoned by the bride to partake in more bridal party duties, as well as the run through of the ceremony and then we had the dinner. I must tell you I was having one hell of a time. I actually believed for a moment that Mr. Cuba was my boyfriend and these people were going to my friends for life. I mean I am in their wedding photos. So, do you think it will be all right if I continued to speak to everyone? Probably not huh? The party didn’t end until 1am and I had an 8am wakeup call for an 11am wedding. I was exhausted and Mr. Cuba said he really enjoyed watching me interact with everyone and was amazed at how comfortable I was. Who wouldn’t be comfortable? Besides the language barrier I was eating and drinking two of my favorite pastimes. HELLO I was like a pig in shit. Oink Oink.

So, you know wherever I am drama follows me right? Lets start with the walk down the aisle. Why did I trip? Yes, I tripped over NOTHING. I literally tripped and almost landed on the f*cking floor. God was punishing me for being a whore in his house. I regained my composure and continued down the aisle with my BEAT RED (think lobster) face. Oh, it only gets better from there. At the reception everyone was dancing their asses off including myself and they were drunk as a skunk (Bostonian lingo again), including Mr. Cuba. Well he starts to spin me, mind you I have no control over how many times I get spun because he is the man and I follow his lead (when dancing). This bastard spun me across the floor like I was in the movie (start at :054)

and we were trying to clear the floor for the prized trip to Puerto Rico. It was insane. So, I’m spinning and spinning thinking I am a hot shit and then he lets go of me and what do I go FLYING in to? Here’s the part if I had a sitcom where I would turn to the camera and say “Are you ready for this?” The F*CKING CAKE. Yes, the cake. I ruined the wedding cake and it wasn’t even my fault, but of course I was already known as the bridesmaid tripper. I had cake all over the back of my dress and my HAIR. Thank god the cake was only a centerpiece and each guest had a mini replica or I may have rightfully been stoned to death. Why the f*ck was the cake so close to dance floor anyway? Everyone laughed and had fun with it even the bride thought it was funny. If that would’ve been me I would have kicked my ass. I was MORTIFIED and pissed off at Mr. Cuba. It was his fault I went straight in to the cake. I am a complete disaster. Can you believe people pay a lot of money to hang out with me? I wouldn’t. I’m a f*cking mess. Keep me away from all precious cargo. Could you imagine if they had a camcorder in my room watching me slip, trip and fall all over the hotel room the day before? Can we say NIGHTMARE?

Listening to the wedding vows about what is important to them got me thinking. And so I’ve come to the conclusion that the things in life that are most important are: finding a magnificent eyebrow artist who gives you movie star brows and charges $50 a pop, a fabulous colorist who makes you look like a natural blonde when you were born a brunette, finding parking on Newbury street on a Saturday afternoon with no problem, getting a table at Abe & Louie’s on a Thursday evening, having good health, great friends that you can turn to day and night including the ones you make online, traveling by private jet, champagne for breakfast because you can, family you miss even when they are around and that you love so much it hurts to think of them ever leaving you. That is what is most important to me the rest is just bullshit that I can live without. These are my vows.

I have to go back to work in the morning. Have a great week. Adios- XOXO Brunette Bombshell

First day on the job

By amherstgirls on Mon, May 5, 2008 3:46 am

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The latest from Brunette Bombshell's Blog. You have to read the comments on her site. They are hilarious.

http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com

I woke up extra early to make myself a power breakfast. Pancakes with real maple syrup not that Aunt Jemima sh*t and a side of fresh fruit (strawberries, melon and blueberries). I packed a Cherry Yoplait yogurt (the only brand I like and not the fat free one either) for lunch and a bottle of water (I know I need to buy a refillable bottle). I rushed out the door wearing black bell bottom high waist pants, a navy blue blouse, a pair of $20 black heels, my hair in a chignon while carrying my Louis Vuitton Alma bag (which did not match my outfit). I was ready to start the beginning of my “experiment”.

I arrived at the office smelling like fresh lemons. It’s a new scent I picked up from CVS (drug store) for $4 15 minutes in to my drive this morning because I forgot to put on perfume. I never leave the house without perfume. I even have a trial size of Victoria Secret Dream Angels in my car, but I ran out of it and didn’t replace it. Speaking of running out of things, did you know that those f*ckers over at Bath and Body stopped selling Green Clover and Aloe body spray? Didn’t they realize that stuff is a hookers dream? Clean and light, perfect for the summer. F*CKERS! All right, enough with the foul language. Anyway, initially the lemon scent was refreshing, but by lunch I was tired of smelling like Lemon Palmolive and dashed over to Target to pick up baby wipes to get it off of me. It didn’t work (me and my bright ideas). 

So the job, well lets just say I don’t think I’m going to survive there for more than a few days. Numero uno: They play country music ALL DAY. I mean really have some consideration for others (mainly me) and play a mix. It doesn’t have to be R&B, but soft rock or pop music would be acceptable. Numero Dos: My coworker who is a female looks like a man. I couldn’t stop staring at her and get this SHE’S MARRIED to a MAN. It’s official I’m jumping off of the BU bridge because I am the last single woman standing. As my ex best friend Caroline use to say “even she’s married!” lol Numero Tres: Again my coworker looks like a man or a lesbian, a butch lesbian I can’t decide on which one (btw I love my lesbians, so please take no offense). Numero Cuatro: I have to file. I don’t think you understand I don’t file. Every since I was a teenager and worked at Newton-Wellesley Hospital after school I would get a headache while filing. A headache so severe that I would almost faint. I felt that way today. I was 16 all over again ready to pass the f*ck out. I need an admin. Oh, I forgot that is now my job. Christ! 

The highlight of my work day was when my boss showed me pictures of her oompa loompa looking daughter who just got MARRIED last weekend to a black guy she met on eHarmony. eHarmony? For the rest of my workday I stayed baffled at the fact that people actually do meet, fall in love and get married from eHarmony. eHarmony! What’s with me and the marriage thing today? I don’t even want to be married. I don’t believe in marriage. No one I know is happily married. No one! 

After work I went to Newbury Street, our shopping Mecca actually The Natick Collection is now giving Copley Plaza and Newbury Street a run for their money, but my appointment was there not at TNC (abbreviated by me). I was running late to my laser treatment I’m a hairy muther f*cker (oops no more cursing). I get lasered on my mustache that no one knows I have and my armpits. Where was I? I am so busy explaining every detail that I forgot the main point. Oh, oh yeah I remember so I’m hauling ass (running) down Newbury St. (already 10 minutes late) and all of a sudden I heard SNAP and my body went flying to the ground with my purse wide open and most of my belongings all over the side walk. JESUS CHRIST! Not only did I miss my laser treatments, broke the heel on my cheap $20 shoes (that’s what I get for buying them in the first place), fell face first on the concrete, embarrassed myself in front of the best dressed people in Boston, BUT condoms fell out of my Louis Vuitton bag in front of a NUN. A BLOODY NUN! Shoot me now! Just kill me! I quickly jumped to my feet, grabbed my condoms and the rest of my items off of the ground while smiling at the nun and limped my way back to the top (which is actually the bottom but everyone says the opposite) of Newbury to my car. What was I suppose to do next? Eat of course.

I was sitting in my car hairy, heelless and starving. Abe & Louie’s was around the corner, but I certainly couldn’t go in there without a freaking heel. So, I decided on Boca Grande a Mexican fast food restaurant for a Chicken Colorado burrito with no beans, no guacamole, no sour cream and no rice, just chicken and salsa. Yum, I could taste it before I got there. I arrived ready to order and guess what? They ran out of it. You mean to tell me that everyone in Brookline had ordered Chicken Colorado? Are you sh*tting me? So, I settled on grilled steak and salsa. I was not satisfied. I’m still not satisfied, which is why I’m going to eat an entire carton of chocolate Breyers ice cream as soon as I finish writing this post.

Phone rings

TD&H wants to have a talk “pronto” and not over the phone. I have no idea what this is about, but I’m not in the mood to be summoned. Perhaps he’s come across my Blog on the Weekly Dig (a local newspaper) courtesy of my U Mass Amherst readers (hi girls) and figured out it was written by me. Could you imagine? Him “You’re a whore? How could you do this to me?” Me “Hello, we f*cked on the first date. Did you really think I was a saint?” lol Just kidding.

Forget the ice cream. I need a drink, a martini, scratch that I’m stopping at Jer-Ne for a Hennessy on the rocks before I cross the street to visit with TD&H. He sounded very serious on the phone.

I’ve already had the day from hell. Any more incidents tonight and I’m submitting my life story to a production team for a sitcom.

Have a nice weekend. XOXO-Brunette Bombshell

A Few Helping Hands

By amherstgirls on Tue, Apr 22, 2008 8:19 pm

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Here is the latest from the brunette bombshell's site:http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com

You should go to her site because it is extremely long.

This is a very long post and has not been proofread.

April 7, 2008 11:35 PM

Today I volunteered and had the chance to meet a wonderful, beautiful little girl. Her name is Melissa and she’s 7 years old. She is wise beyond her years. She told me that I had sad eyes. I told her it was because I was tired and she told me “No, it’s not I know the difference”. I laughed, but she was serious. I asked her how was it that she was such an expert on sad eyes and she said “because when people look at me that’s how they look” I then said “but I’m not sad looking at you” and she said “because you don’t know yet” and I said “know what?” and she said “that I’m going to die”. My heart dropped and it was hard for me to swallow what she had said, but I didn’t want her to see the change in my demeanor so I said “Stop it, no you’re not?” she said “I have HIV” and I said “well it doesn’t mean you are going to die and as a matter of fact you are going to live” she said “no, I’m not my mother told me I’m not because we don’t have money”. I grabbed her and held her close to me and told her that wasn’t true and she would live as long as she wanted and as long as she had hope. At that moment nothing mattered to me besides giving Melissa hope. 

I wasn’t at an HIV clinic I was at a homeless shelter. I assumed I would go there and pass out meals and maybe do some cleaning or secretarial work I had no idea that I would meet people, hear their stories and feel connected to them. 

Per Melissa’s mother she was born with HIV. Her mother Sandra was an intravenous drug user and a former prostitute who contracted the disease and passed it on to her unborn child. Thankfully she has been drug free and sober for several years. They have been living in the shelter for six months waiting for an affordable apartment to become available after a fire left they displaced. 

HIV/AIDS medication is very expensive without coverage. Luckily they live in Massachusetts where all residents have access to healthcare whether we can afford it or not, this is one of the many perks of living here. 

I didn’t want to come in there and act as though I was the HIV/AIDS expert and give Sandra a lecture about giving her daughter hope and not allowing her to feel like she has a death sentence. One thing I have learned is no parent wants unsolicited advice from anyone never mind a stranger and no one wants someone to come in and tell them what they are doing wrong. 

I looked around and wanted to save everyone. I know I can’t, but I wanted to. I was trying to think of ways to help these two because Melissa was the first person that I had made a connection with. So, I decided to devise a plan. After speaking to Sandra I asked her if she was working, she said no because she doesn’t have any skills. I explained to her that everyone has a skill. I thought to myself whether she knew it or not prostitutes make the best sales people in the world because we are hustlers by nature. lol I asked if she knew how to use the computer, she said yes. BINGO. Ok, I asked if she knew Microsoft applications she said she is learning Excel now and knows Word. Great. I asked how many WPM she could type she said she wasn’t sure. I went out to my car and grabbed my laptop opened a word document and had her type a paragraph and timed her. She didn’t do too badly for someone who has never worked in an office. I knew I could find her a job. I asked her if she wanted to work, she said yes, but she didn’t have any clothes to work in an office and didn’t think she was smart enough. I asked her if she had 3 wishes what would they be. Her 1st was for her daughter to be HIV negative the second wish was to find a place to live and her third wish was to be able to support her daughter and herself.

Now remember I am at the shelter to do work not to politic (chit chat) with the people staying there, but I didn’t care because I was going to do what I wanted to do as usual. I told her that if she believed in herself and her ability to do well she could accomplish anything. Sandra is a high school graduate with a few college credits from a local community college. I told her I’d return by Friday to talk with her and extend my friendship. I made no promises to her, but I knew what I could pull off. 2 out of 3 wishes ain’t (I know ain’t isn’t a word) bad.

After I finished my volunteer work I immediately made a few phone calls. The first was to Penee I asked her if she knew anyone who would donate clothes in a size 8 (that’s my size (barely). You know I have TONS of clothes that my fat ice cream eating ass can’t fit in to anymore) because she was a buyer for a major department store at one time, so I knew she had connections and I also asked her for a cash donation. I called my friend Christine who is the owner of a beautiful salon located downtown and asked if she would donate her services for a makeover (hair (relaxer, cut), manicure, pedicure and facial) she agreed. I then called my realtor friend Camille to see if she or any of her colleagues knew of a 2-bedroom apartment in the city for less than $800. It’s almost impossible, but I believe that anything I want I can make it happen. I then contacted a friend of mine who is the director of a company that has a call center and he agreed to hire Sandra just based on my recommendation. I explained the situation of her having little work history etc and he said that she would receive excellent training and ample time to learn her job. Sandra has an interview on 4/21 at 10 AM where unbeknownst to her she will be extended an offer on the spot contingent upon a criminal background and drug test. It was important for me to find a job for her that was T (public transportation) accessible, with FULL benefits 401K, Flexible spending account, Health Insurance, Dental, Vision the works and this one is perfect. Next on my list was childcare. I don’t have any children, but I have heard that childcare is a huge problem for single parents. I also have an associate (she’s not a friend I just needed to point that out. I don’t really like her) who runs a daycare out of her home, she agreed to take in Melissa everyday after school for 3 hrs until Sandra gets out of work (for 3 months) at no cost. She also said she would give Sandra information about receiving a voucher and other benefits that she may be eligible for to help pay for daycare after the 3 months has ended. 

I called a total of 13 friends and family members for cash donations. I am so touched by the generosity that they have showed. I am crying writing this because I knew I had a great circle of people, but I had no idea how deep they were willing to give. I could’ve paid for everything myself from the money I made last weekend, but I wanted to pull my resources together and see what I could accomplish. So far I have gathered a total of $6,218 in cash, which will be collected on Thursday afternoon. 

In less than 6 hours I have secured Sandra a job, childcare, savings and a makeover. The most important task is going to be getting them a place to call home. 

Go to http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com for the rest

An Escort Exposed

By amherstgirls on Sun, Apr 13, 2008 11:31 pm

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Here is the latest from: http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com

The format is screwed up as usual because I copied and pasted it so go to her site if it is.

Imagine for a moment that you received an email or a letter in the mail from someone regarding a loved one, better yet about your child. In this email it described in explicit detail your child’s sexual exploits and things that no parent should nor would ever want to hear or see regarding their child. What would you do?

This week a well known or shall I say somewhat popular “plus sized” escort was exposed in just that way. Her mother received an email telling her that her daughter was a NY prostitute and gave details on every female partner she had (has), places she lived, a client who allegedly happens to f*ck transsexual prostitutes unprotected, blow jobs without condoms, Craigslist sex ads and the list goes on and on. There’s more. This email was also forwarded to all of her clients as well as former and present partners, her building management, NYPD and even people who don’t know her (like myself). Did you think I was finished? This is just the beginning. In a separate email this escorts real name, social security number, current address, previous addresses, town her mother resides in, personal business (Tax ID, attorney info etc), escort aliases (she worked under numerous names), medical history (cosmetic surgeries), financial problems, real names of some of the girls she has worked with or was associated with including their websites (putting those girls in harms ways).

Could you imagine your mother reading an email that said things like you are bi-sexual, you specialized in two and three girl dates, had reviews written about your sexual exploits and actually named the review boards and sent links to your elegant, well-written websites where your photos were shown and your rates for sex were clearly displayed, places where you advertised, a link to a legal brothel you worked at in Las Vegas with numerous pictures of yourself listed, nude photos of your out of shape body that were showed without the magic of photo shop displaying your actual body, Craigslist posts that were written by you such as "Hot Blonde Bombshell Seeks XL Thick Cock 4Fun Tonite", informing her that you had been robbed several months ago by a client and physically assaulted by a former female roommate? Could you flipping imagine your mother reading and seeing all of this? I can. I can imagine it. I can see my mother now having a heart attack, put to death because of my poor decisions. I could hear her asking herself before she died “what did I do wrong?” She would blame herself; she would think it was her fault that her daughter was a prostitute, she would think back and try to see if there were any signs. She would ask why and wonder why I have gone to the best schools, had a mother and a father, had a lot of love and even attends (I’m only out for the semester) one of the top graduate schools in the country and would wonder why her intelligent, beautiful daughter would resort to such a immoral thing. I thought about my answer and I don’t have one. I would stay silent because saying I do it because I can and I enjoy it would not only be cocky, sick and selfish, but it just wouldn’t be true. The truth is I don’t have a good reason and I can’t articulate why I do it, I just do.

There is so much more that was in the emails, but to protect this escort I will not disclose anything else. Just know that what I have written doesn’t even come close to what was actually revealed. Of course there is a back story as to why this escort was exposed and it goes way beyond envy and animosity, but lips are remaining sealed. They say there are 6 degrees of separation, in this case I am separated by 1 degree with two different people. Thankfully, neither of the ladies I know are affected by this horrific email. 

This is the reality of what can and does happen if you decide to enter this industry. You still don’t believe it could happen to you? What if I told you the person who sent this information to this woman's mother, clients, friends, escort associates, escort community (yes, there is one), strangers, building management and NYPD was someone she worked with (intimately), someone she trusted... a former FRIEND. 

Jobs, Jealousy and Sausages what a combination!

By amherstgirls on Wed, Apr 9, 2008 10:24 am

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The latest from http://www.discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com

 My “date” with Mr. Europe sorry to report was uneventfully. We had a few dinners and went to the movies to see The Bank Job. You know me by now I don’t make up sh*t to make it sound more exciting than it really is. 

Whew! I feel better now. -Adios Brunette Bombshell 

She works hards for the money

By amherstgirls on Fri, Apr 4, 2008 5:42 am

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http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com Here is her latest entry I can't figure out how to change the settings from her site to here, so some of the words are bunched together I tried to fix most of them but if you go directly to her site it's not. Sorry 

Those who subscribe to my blog via email received a post last Friday that the rest of you didn’t receive. I wanted to first update you guys on what happened. So, I did go over to TD&H’s house dressed in my tight red dress and the girl was there again. It turns out she is his cousin visiting from LA. lol What an idiot I was. I still don’t understand why she was staring at me the way she was. I still think she’s a lesbian.



Hello to everyone else. I know it’s been a few weeks. I’ve been crazy busy. I gave my employer my notice shortly after posting 25 Secrets,Fears and Thoughts and Friday was my last day at my job. YAHOO! I should be happy right? I did tell you guys that I hated my job. I do have plenty of time to do everything I want and stay home reading my Essence, Latina,Portfolio and Instyle Magazines that have sat in my magazine bin unread since DECEMBER. They just keep piling up. Well, it’s only been 2 days and I’m already bored. I am doing absolutely nothing. No school, no job, no friends that are available during the day. This is not how I envisioned my days. I thought I would be relaxed and meeting my girlfriends for lunch followed by shopping and a day trip to NY. NOT. Instead I sit at home watching Maury, Martha Stewart andher damn cupcakes, Good Day America and that God-awful The View. I hate TheView; they talk over each other and don’t let the guest get a word in. They suck! I also sat around waiting for my cell phone to ring. No one calls meduring the week because I never answer my phone because usually I am busy.


Today is Thursday and by Monday afternoon I was already submitting my resume for a new job. I have 4 interviews today beginning as early as 9 am. Here is where the story takes a turn. I had an idea and yes I have gone temporarily insane, but just hear me out. I havedecided to move out of my place next month to some hole in the wall, live in the city and find a job, not a career so I can begin to appreciate everything I have. I complain way too much, not to family or friends just to myself, so whatI need to do is teach myself a lesson. For 1 year I am going to live not so comfortable and by the end of the year I hope that I learned a few things about sacrifice. Don’t get me wrong I do know about sacrifice and being poor andliving in the ghetto (so what if I was like 5), but I’ve been so far removed from that world for so long that I am no longer hungry and I take advantage of everything and appreciate NOTHING. So, here is my to do list in no particular order:



#1 get a regular job, as a receptionist or a Customer Service rep, something that pays less than $17 hr.lets see how long I survive. 



#2 move out of my FABULOUS place. Oh,how I am going to miss this place. 



#3 I have to make sure there won’t bea washer and dryer on the premises; therefore I will have to do laundry with everyone else at the Laundromat. I think I may die. I don’t like using the same facilities as everyone else. I better get those coins together.



#4 move in to a rooming house or move in with a stranger (roommate OMG) paying no more than $500 a month for rent.



#5 No cable. Which means I will have to find other things to occupy my time with. Perhaps I will spend more time writing, exercising and taking Samba lessons.



#6 when I do go on appointments. 10% immediately will go to charity and the balance will go towards tuition because I do have to return in the fall. The hooker money cannot go towards anything other than tuition, fees, books and charity. This is only for a year right?



#7 I am only allowed to spend and save the money I earn from the office job.



#8 all funds that are currently in the bank will go in to CD’s and other investments, no available cash other than the 1st, last and security deposit for my living arrangements and $500 to get me started.



#9 No more Starbucks hot chocolates or Frappuccinos. First of all my figure can’t take it and second of all I won’t be able to afford it on my new budget.



#10. No credit cards. I will have to go to Wal-Mart and get a prepaid Visa credit card from this point on.



#11. I will do more volunteer work. Hands on, not just cash donations.



These are just some of the new rules.They do not go in to affect until I have the new job and have moved out of my place. My deadline is June 1st. I plan on documenting all of my experiences. I may create a new Blog just for this. Nahh I don’t have the patience for that.Don’t worry I’ll still have the same lifestyle. Trust me come hell or high water I will still eat at Sorellina, Abe & Louie’s and have drinks at JER-NE. I will just have to be more creative in getting what I want and I will also have to learn how to once again live on a budget. I really need to do this. I think it will be good for my soul. Who knows I may like it and I maynot. So, this Blog is going to get BUSY, because I am sure I will have a lot to say.

 I’m so excited! I told a few of my friends about my plan and they are none too happy about this. I think it’s because they feel like I may change after this experiment and we may not have that much in common after it’sall said and done, but can I be frank with you for a moment? The majority of the people I associate with are NOT my friends and I have nothing in common with them. The only 2 people who I know will support me through this and I will continue to be friends with during and after this time are Penee and Rach (I’mthinking about changing her name because some of my readers are sleuths and managed to find her). lol She needs to add a Blog to her website she is one funny bastard with incredible stories that top mine 10 times over just withdating alone never mind her escort stories.



I’ll be back later to update the Blog on what happened on the interviews... I also have an appointment this weekend with Mr. Europe, so I'll have more drama for you I'm sure.



*Go to her website for the update. It is funny.

Prostitutes, Hookers, Escorts and Whores

By amherstgirls on Sat, Mar 15, 2008 6:51 pm

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Here is the latest from Brunette Bombshell's Blog:http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com <br>

Here we go with another week of escorts on TV discussing how much they love what they do and how high their rates are and how “exclusive” they are and blah blah blah. Thank God Donahue and Geraldo don’t have their daytime talk shows anymore. Remember when Heidi Fleiss was busted? That is when I first learned about high-end call girls; of course I was a young girl so I wasn’t dreaming about it at the time. The call girls were parading themselves all over network television telling their stories of rendezvous with powerful men. I remember feeling bad for those girls who resorted to selling their bodies and stories for money. lol Oh how life has changed.<br> The one thing that I honestly cannot stand is to see present and former prostitutes, madams or Mr. Jason Itzer on television telling all of their business (get a Blog lol). Clearly they did not get the memo that this industry is supposed to be discreet. Every time there is a major prostitution bust the media searches for women to collaborate their stories, which of course is their job and I have nothing against the media my issue is with the women and Jason. SHUT YOUR TRAP. Not only are you doing yourself a disservice (because there is nothing cute about prostitution which is one of the reasons why I write anonymously) and drawing unwanted attention to this industry, but you are selling fairy tale dreams to impressionable women who hear the large dollar amounts that your are “supposively” (is that a word?) making and they want a piece of it. I can see the women now sitting at their cubicles daydreaming about becoming an “escort” and all the money they can make searching online for an agency similar to The Emperors Club. Just shut it (your mouths)!<br> Now on to former NY governor Eliot Spitzer, he is not the first nor will he be the last man to seek the services of a call girl. He is however a hypocritical fool who got caught doing the exact thing he was adamantly against... I’m disappointed by the people including those I work with (day job) who say that it is his wife’s fault that he was sleeping with a prostitute. Wake up people it is not his wife’s fault nor is it her responsibility to make excuses for his behavior contrary to popular belief. Why does she stand by him? Uh, my first thought is because she is married to him and she’s probably in SHOCK. The reality is NONE of us knows what we would do or how we would react if we were in her shoes, so do me a favor people and keep your small-minded opinions to yourselves and piss off! <br> Don’t worry about 22-year-old “Kristen” aka Ashley Dupre (HA HA HA great NAME, escorts know why) she will finally receive the fame she was seeking with her music. According to MSNBC the biggest radio station in NY was playing her song today and her Myspace page has received an astonishing number of hits. <br> Yes, the world knows she is a “whore”, but America loves a happy ending (no pun intended). This country is famous for making drug addicts, prostitutes, alcoholics and poor behavior front-page news and creating stars and “role-models” out of these media darlings. Miss Ashley will be on the party scene in no time right along side Paris Hilton, Amy Winehouse, Britney Spears and Lindsey Lohan selling magazines like InTouch and US off the stands...Famous? Ok, maybe I’m giving her too much credit I should have said infamous. <br> Remember what I said in a previous post “all that glitters isn’t gold” and to the ladies who continuously write me about wanting to enter the escort business this is a prime example of why I warn you not to. You will embarrass yourself and your family if you are exposed. Don’t be naive and think for a moment it couldn’t happen to you. One more thing PAY YOUR TAXES AND CLAIM EVERYTHING. <br> Love ya. XOXO-Brunette Bombshell

THE BEST ADULT BLOG

By amherstgirls on Sat, Mar 8, 2008 6:09 am

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http://discreetrendezvous.blogspot.com

Lets try to get her to add her blog to the blog list. It's far more interesting and entertaining than most.