!ay dios mio! I h8 mundaiz.

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Mon, Jul 21, 2008 3:52 pm

'Sup with that FLASH FLOOD yesterday? I went out 2 my car when it wuz over, and there was a SQUID on the windshield!........................................ :(................................... you know what I've done 2day? I've solved a mystery that was plaguing me ALL weekend: Who sang that AWFUL Graduation song a few years back?! and NO, not the Vitamin C song.............................. Remember this: ??? Isn't that the DUMBEST song, EVER? That song is SO fucking stupid, that it makes my blood boil. Could you imagine hearing it in a klub?................. UGH! I did NOTHING @ work 2day, bkuz I was 2 bizy Googling graduation songz. :(.................................... 'Sup?..................................................................................................... Can my pr0bation officer call me back? I want 2 make sure my pr0bation iz over. It's been a year! I want out. Don't worry... I didn't kill n-e-1 or n-e-thing... just don't expect me 2 drive on the south shore n-e-thyme soon. :( ........................................................ so sleepy.................................................................... I'm going 2 see the dark night 2morrow. is it good? it better be. those George Clooney btmnz were fucking AWF......................................... ok, I need to go............................................ L8r........................................... (ohhh, why am I STILL unable to edit my blog on here, OR haz paragraphz? this entry is going 2 look terrible.I can haz tech support?)

Best/ Worst weekend, so far ... this month!

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Mon, Jul 14, 2008 12:49 pm

UGH! STOP HAVING BARBECUES! I'm going to get colon cancer from all of that grilling!............... What a fucked up week.......... I get to pick up my bike from the shop 2day!! I had some work done 2 get it ready for the road. they wanted $160!!! I wuz like: "no, fix my bike, not my Saab."..................... $160 for bike repairz?! Can't I get, like 5 Huffy's @ Target for that?! ................... k, bttr deal, thnkz!...................... Sheesh. I cann0t shave anym0re. I honestly look like the Joker in the new Batman m0vie or, if edward scissorhandz tried to use one of those biore facial strips. :( and once I start bl33ding, it w0n't stop! I can't go on the train with bl00d face! !!!......................... 'Sup?................... I had to train some girl at another 1 of our offices how to do half of my job. Sooooo, shouldn't I be learning a new function, or is there going to be a pink piece of paper on my desk when I get back from lunch?.................. I think I just insulted gay co-worker's anat0my, bkuz I heard a story about a party he wuz @, and I know ppl who saw him doin' something w/ some1... I told him he should unlock hiz manhunt.net pix for me, so I can confirm the story, and then he stopped talking 2 me. ..................... WHATEVZ. I didn't want to see them ANYWAYZ........... ugh, thyme 4 lunch. my slim-fast shake haz failed to suppress my appetite. :(....... why can I haz paragraphs 2day, weekly dig?

Bait and switch? fuck YOU fox twenty5!

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Tue, Jul 8, 2008 4:10 pm

ugh. for, like, WEEKz I have been w8ing for the temp to reach 85 degreez. NOT so I can't stick to my car seat, or have ppl sweat on me on teh train, but so I could use FOX 25 newz' good word, and abuse the shit out of it! When the temp hitz 85 degreez @ Logan Airport, you can speed to their webpage, and print out a coup for a free sk0op @ Cold Stonez! 2day wuz fucking h0t and gross out. When I went to the site, it gave me the good (awful) newz!! 85+ @ Logan!

When I entered my name, and printed the coupz out, the fine print was a big dirty bitch. "Free 3oz serving -- Plain Ice Cream" (still not awful, I'm not a pig... I don't need a gallon, here's the curveball) " ... with the purchase of "Love it $ize $ignature Crea$hun!!!"!"!!!!!!!!! what the FUCK! that's like a $40 right there! and I have to buy a cone to get a free one? and walk down the street with TWO conez? Wasn't that one of the deadly sinz in SEVEN?

Fuck this! I'm going to fill up on sample sc0opz.

anywayzZzz...

I think I really fucked up on something a while ago, and it came to light today, and I was all like, "w8, how could I be retarded enuff to do that...?!!!?!" and then I was able to put the blame on some1 who left the company a few months ago, and realized how brilliant I wuz for pulling that off.

GENIUZ!

'Sup?

I guess a spider egg hatched in my bedroom lazt night, worst fucking scene, EVER. It was like that 2 part epis0de of Punky Brewster where she was stuck in that fucking INSANE cave, and she had to kill the giant spider with that tomahawk, but in this case, they were a bunch of babiez on my ceiling, and I had to use the vacuum. :( I almost slept in my car.

have you ever tried 2 get involved with a student, and it's cool and stuff, and right when you're ready to put out, they have to hit the b0okz for, liek 10 munths st8?! :(!!!

worst timing.

Where were you 6 munthz ago?!

ok, I'm tired. L8rz.

was this wknd worth 4 dayz?

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Mon, Jul 7, 2008 2:15 pm

 

Ugh! I don't know if I feel bttr being @ work 2day than sitting @ home. There were so many highz and lowz over the last 4 dayz.

 

every1 is out of the office 2day, so clearly I have done no work... which makes this feel like a different kind of holiday.

 

 The weekend was full of the WORST barbecuez. One of my friends had TWO. I didn't even know about the second one... I was simply invited over, and they were grilling... I was like "fuck this! stop grilling!"

The MA state police announced operation "over the limit, under arrest" .... or something like that... just in time for the holiday. how about I announce operation "Shut up and mind your own business... why don't you go prevent 1 of those 3 fatal sho0tingz in Roxbury, k thankz.... I just want to have some fun."

just sayin'...

I had the WORST time going out on saturday... I went to a club night that technically died a few years ago, but they keep trying to breathe life back in2 it at least once a munth. Let's just say they play fischerspooner'z "Emerge" like clockwork ... each time. :(

I think I'm dealing with a weird situation, bkuz I didn't put out after that was all over. I really should have ... the 2 of us are barely talking now... :(

 

you know what's gross? the fucking WEATHER! I refuse to leave the office until the sun is down.

oh, our server blocked GChat again... fuck this! the blackberry is giving me arthritis.

 

:'(

It's mundai already? what the SUCK?!

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Mon, Jun 30, 2008 3:58 pm

 

 

That was the WORST weekend, EVER.

The weather was gross. Ppl had the w0rst bbqz. and I went to sumthing called underbear. :( (yeah, that's BEAR not BAR. it was a bunch of hairy guyz in their undiez @ the alley.

 

I didn't sleep @ all last night. I feel crazier than Adam Ant 2day.

Was there any point in taking a shower b4 I left the house this morning?  It was fucking DISGUSTING outside. You know what I had to take to work 2day? take a guess...

give up?

a BUS. it was terrible. and why is it $1.50? I can get the first seat of a Fung-Wah for a fucking d0llar! I swear it t0ok 2 w33kz to get from pt. @ 2 pt. B

 

 

 

 

 

I think I had sex with a friend yesterday. it was weird, but I had to prove a point.

 

oh, well.... at least it'z a sh0rt w33k. amiright???

I am so used to :(, that when I sent my boss a reply to an earlier request, I said

 

"Thanks :(" instead of ":)" and she got pissed off.

 

My badddddd.

:(

0ptionz.

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Wed, Jun 25, 2008 3:30 pm

 

I've been considering other positionz within the company. ANYTHING to get the fuck out of here! The guy who delivers our mail seems to have it pretty easy, but I think you have to be retarded to land that position (I base that on the fact that I had to help him tie his shoes the other day. :( )

Could I be an adminitrative assistant? our admin sends out e-mailz that have more typ0z than 1 of my 3am drunky/ booty txt msgz.

 

What about the guy who comes in and waters the plantz, and trims off a leaf or two on his way out the door? That would be cool. I think he's allowed to have LOVE/HATE tat2ed on hiz knucklez, and NO ONE cares!

 

ugh. this week is takin' 4ever! I even missed a day! I left early on mundai 4 a last minute Dr'z appt (don't ask, but the bleeding has stopped), and since it was obvious I had some FREAK medical condition on munda1, why not call out on 2zday?! LOLOLOLOL. :(

Speakin' of going 2 the doctor, is it normal for yr Dr to insist you take his cell phone #, and joke about sending facebook msgz? I think we are meeting up for drinx 2night, so I can get my lab rezultz.

Can my boss leave? I'm trying to play 5 gamez of Scrabulous 2day, and he keepz walking by my desk.:(

 

Did you hear about that Time Capsule in Dudley Sq from, like, 1995??

"Secreted inside the foot-long rectangular copper box were two yellowed newspapers -- The Boston Evening Transcript and The Boston Post -- and a proof of a furniture advertisement touting a new wooden living room set for $150." -Boston.com

Wow! That's fucking BORING. Can't you find the same stuff @ the Library? and in better condition?

 

ugh. I just got an apple from the cafe downstairs... I didn't notice how bruised it wuz @ first, but once I bit in2 it, I noticed it had a farmer's tan. I LQQKz like it was involved in a domestic dispute or something.

 

p.s. tomat0ez?! is it OK yet? weren't 5 more casez discovered in MA yesterday?

 

:'(

 

I need to go outside.

 

L8r.

perfecto!

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Wed, Jun 18, 2008 2:51 pm

 

 

I can't believe how much NOTHING I've done 2day. I haven't had any work since 9:00 am. Some1 fucked up something REAL BAD, so I've just been hangin' out to the side, and chillin'... y'know? Hey, I didn't crash the stock market! that's basically what my c0w0rker did. I'll just sit here and watch more Black Flag showz on YouTube. thnx.

 

You know what sucks? when yr b0ss is coming over 2 yr desk, and you can see him from the corner of yr eye, so you rush 2 close yr myspace windowz and stuff, but you accidentally expand them, and it takes up yr whole screen? yeah, that fucking SUCKS. Why does it happen, like, 5 times a day?!

ok, now I'm watching Pulp live @ Glastonbury:

 

<object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/lWaHnlt2I3U&hl=en"></param><embedsrc="http://www.youtube.com/v/lWaHnlt2I3U&hl=en" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>

 

I can haz tomatoez, plz? Do I have to buy that tomat0 tree off TV, and w8 4 weeks to grow my own? or can farmers wash their hands, and put purell bottlez out on the farm? Thankz.

The celtix won, I guess... 1/2 the office is out. LOSERS. I think a COKE BINGE is a better excuse than "uhhhh, I watched tv until 11:45... and then I had a corona to celebrate ... my head hurts". 

Also, have you SEEN the headlines in the Metro 2day?

"GREEN MONSTERS" ??!?! isn't that a reference to Fenway Park? They don't play basketball there... Neil Diamond and Dave Matthews Band play there. also, "GREEN DAY"???! isn't that the W0rst pop-punk band, ever?! What's wrong with "We Won."????

 

Sheesh!

'Sup with that parade 2morrow? how is THAT going to fuck up my lunch hour? Oh, well... at least the dropkick murphy's will have NOTHING 2 do w/ this parade.

 

ok, I think I am going to step out for a cookie.

 

L8rz.

:'(

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Tue, Jun 17, 2008 4:07 pm

 

 

I just found a c0-w0rker'z myspace page, and they have 1 of those embedded audio playerz ... you know what song it playz?

 

Peter Gabriel's "Shock the Monkey". :(~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.

 

What the FUCK is that all about? are you 45?

 

That's the ugliest find of the century.

 

:(~~~~

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Tue, Jun 17, 2008 2:03 pm

 

 

I t0tally went 2 super 2sday @ subway ... y'know, $3.99 for a foot long? anywayzZzz, I was so surprised that they had t0matoEz, that I actually ordered them... I can haz key to executive's bathroom, plz?!

DO NOT FEEL GOOD!

 

How come my boss has an infinite supply of sick dayz? and when I use 1 of my 5 for something that seems questionable, that's his excuse when he calls out the following day/s?

 

Gay co-w0rker is back in the office, but he l0oks burnt out from pride weekend... like he's aged another 10 yearz. I can't tell if it's more attractive. :(

 

t0mat03 f3v3r. :(

 

must run.

HOMELESS! :'(

By can_I_haz_new_job_plz on Thu, Jun 12, 2008 2:41 pm

I am not sure what my boss just did in the bathro0m, but it is uninhabitable. I went in there to take a quick nap, and I almost had tears running down my face. :'( I was expecting a zombie from 28 dayz L8r to jump out ... or possibly be cured??? :(~~~

Should I lQQk in the yellow pgz for a priest? I think this will require some kind of blessing. :(

 

I t0tally played Miss Kittin and the Hacker's "Frank Sinatra" for the 50-year-old spanish woman. She was smiling and laughing at first, but after 2 minutez, she looked really upset. :(

omgzZzz! I thought of the BEST prank earlier! Imagine if some1 photoshopped you in2 the crowd from a really embarrassing c0ncert pic? Like a picture from a Blues Traveler concert? Then it would look like you went to the show, you know?

hhahahahahahahahaha Blues Traveler.

 

ahhhhh, summer!

 

I 4got I kind of proposed to some1 the other day, but it's not fair, bkuz I had about 2 gallonz of margaritaz in me, and I sat out in the sun @ mccarren park.

d0ez my lawyer have to get involved with this or something? we haven't talked since that driving incident.

 

Gay co-worker is out 2day. I 4got about that after I sent him the lewdest response via B-Berry to a question he asked after Ileft the office yesterday. I got his out of the office auto reply. :( I hope no 1 iz checking his e-mailz while he's out 2day. I have a big empty box if that happens. :(

 

I'm going to check out the handicap bathroom on the 10th floor.

 

l8r.