Bean Counter

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In September, the Cambridge City Council will vote on whether to change the zoning law to allow for construction of a new hotel in Porter Square. What isn't there for tourists to like about Porter Square?! A giant MBTA escalator and a 24-hour supermarket?! That's what America is all about! MINUS 1

The MBTA's diversity office is slapped with a discrimination lawsuit after its chief allegedly said lying is part of Latino culture. Racism is apparently a part of MBTA culture, as the office has already experienced heavy turnover, and the T's 37-percent minority and 25-percent female employee base is considered an "improvement." No wonder Charlie looks so white. MINUS 1

It's like watching the Roman Empire crumble: Starbucks announces the closing of seven Massachusetts store locations. Eat that, corporate coffee ( ... drink that?). PLUS 1

House Speaker Sal DiMasi has agreed to a sales tax holiday in August (last month he said the chances of a day of tax-free purchases were "very unlikely"). Get ready to shop like you live in New Hampshire! PLUS 1

The door of a Jewish temple in Haverhill is smeared with kaka. MINUS 1

Sen. Hillary Clinton comes to Boston to address the National Association of Letter Carriers (read: mailmen ... or, uh, mailpeople?), a 300,000-strong union, which was one of the first to endorse Clinton. The week-long convention will also offer workshops in retirement planning, mail delivery abroad and small dog kicking. PLUS 1

State Lottery revenues totaled $4.7 billion in the fiscal year of 2008, boasting a $237 million increase over 2007. We're riiiiiich! Not only should we be able to fix the Longfellow now, we should pave the motherfucker with GOLD. PLUS 1

A Cape Cod hospital patient is tested for an ailment similar to mad cow disease. Probably caused by tomatoes ... or peppers. To be safe, you should probably just stop eating for a while. MINUS 1

Massachusetts delegates to the Democratic National Convention will offset their carbon footprint (plane fuel doesn't grow on trees) by buying fluorescent lightbulbs to be installed in low-income community housing. All we want is a little love, Al Gore. PLUS 2

The Dark Knight rakes in $155.3 million on its opening weekend. And if you tell me how it ends, I will fucking cut you. PLUS 1

Treasurer Tim Cahill continues picking at Gov. Deval Patrick's every financial plan. As Cahill gears up for a 2010 gubernatorial bid, so does Patrick ... the current gov holds a fundraiser at his 77-acre Sweet P Farm (really), with donations reaching $5,500 a head. It begins. EVEN

THIS WEEK'S TOTAL: PLUS 3

LAST WEEK'S TOTAL: EVEN