[Cruel World] 
To the pointless hostess at the cafe,
Why do you feel it's necessary to harass me
[Cruel World]
Dear Boston,
I am SO sick of hearing how the T is to blame for everything.
[Cruel World]
Delivered handsomely on stationary with a floral and butterfly motif:
Dear Boston men,
I know that the sack that hangs between your legs is super huge.
[Cruel World]
To all the Caca-fucks and Douchetards that find it very necessary to RIDE THEIR BIKES ON THE SIDEWALK: YOU CAN EAT A DICK!
[Cruel World]
Dear retro-loving, fucktard, Blondie fans who wrote, produced, and/or play the fucking "CALL ME" ads all the time and far too frequently on TV,
[Cruel World]
Dear Goebbels,
At first, I wasn't sure what you were doing as I rode my bike by your front porch.
[Cruel World]
Dear New Member,
You joined the ICA on Sunday. When you approached the desk you seemed very satisfied that the four-person membership you'd imagined and arbitrarily priced at $100 would be your gateway to a new world of sophistication. Never mind that no such offer exists, you were confident and self-satisfied.
[Cruel World] 
Thank you for the most horrifying Valentine's Day of my life. Nonchalantly, you oh so daintily entered our bedroom last night, entirely nude, and my worst fears were confirmed. "Surprise honey," you said. I couldn't believe my eyes. You shaved the hair on your Lady business—all of it! How could you do such a thing without discussing this with me first? I loved your fur pie, and now I have no idea how to broach the subject.
[Cruel World] 
Dear cheap, fat bastard,
If you weren't a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier, I would have punched you in the face just now. The fact that you charge $3-something for a slice of cheese pizza was okay with me. I get that you're taking advantage of the tourists like all the other restaurants in Quincy Market.
[Cruel World] 
Dear Sculling boat that so epitomizes Boston city living,
Why is everyone so proud of you? You are the least cool thing that has happened to this city ... ever. Furthermore, don't ever fucking t-bone my girlfriend and I in our sailboat again. If you do that again I will drown you, all of you.
