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Oh, Cruel World!
By Dig Reader
del.ico.us
reddit!
Dear Sculling boat that so epitomizes Boston city living,
Why is everyone so proud of you? You are the least cool thing that has happened to this city ... ever. Furthermore, don't ever fucking t-bone my girlfriend and I in our sailboat again. If you do that again I will drown you, all of you.
Surely the only thing more smug than Boston's sense of superiority is its uber-elite rowing scene, I mean come-fucking-on. Did you need to find something less challenging to do with your time spent between "pottery making" and "castrati in opera" classes?
Oh yeah and when you bash into my boat (which did not come with my tuition—what fucking tuition?) on the Charles please do not send your Hitler Youth-like guide-boat hag over to blame us via bullhorn when COLREGS clearly states that, "When two ... vessels are meeting head on ... and each has the other forward of a direction 22.5 abaft the beam the vessel which has the other on its own starboard side must avoid crossing ahead of and must keep out of the way of the other," particularly when your only experience with boating in the last 20 years has been the little yellow one in your bathtub.
Boston, for the love of God let's move on from the Dropkick Murphys, Red Sox "nation," Good Will Hunting, rowing and other extremely clichéd aspects of our city to far cooler idols like Richard M. Dana, Joshua Slocum. Or heck, even good ole Paul Revere. Try not to drink the Kool Aid people. Especially if it's been made on the Charles.
Love,
Just Another Angry Dude
Send your anonymous gripes and grouses to letters@weeklydig.com, or to Dig Department of Gripes, 242 E. Berkeley St., 2nd Flr., Boston, MA 02118. Crybaby.
