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[Cruel World]

Oh Cruel World!

By Dig Readers

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Dear Goebbels,

At first, I wasn't sure what you were doing as I rode my bike by your front porch. Maybe you were just waving your cigarette around erratically—this is Cambridge, after all. Then I saw the dog eagerly following your every gesture. It wasn't until you had tossed the butt, however, that I figured out exactly what was going on: You were playing fetch with a lit cigarette. Of course the puppy ran after the glowing red stick and yelped when it burned its tongue.

Traffic prevented me from turning around or even yelling, "Asshole!" But now that I think about it, calling you an asshole is an insult to all the ordinary inconsiderate assholes that usually grace this section. Calling you an asshole is like calling Father Geoghan a jerk or Hitler a douche.

Someone remind me again: Why is cruel and unusual punishment banned in this country?

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