[Soapbox] 
The world of recreational plastic embodiment sure has changed since I was young. I'm not talking about the commonplace trends of rhinoplasties,
[Soapbox] 
I have a confession to make: Red Sox fans drove me from my home.
While perhaps I wasn't chased from my apartment in Brookline with flaming torches
[Soapbox] 
When Best Buy launched the Geek Squad, the assimilation of techie know-how into popular regard took a revolutionary step forward. Geeks were suddenly seen as useful and on the edge of cool, teetering there with white button-downs, black ties and an assumed knowledge of esoteric beeping and blooping devices.
[Soapbox]
When Best Buy launched the Geek Squad, the assimilation of techie know-how into popular regard took a revolutionary step forward.
[Soapbox] 
[Soapbox] 
"Listen Lois, I know you're a feminist and I think that's adorable, but this is grown-up time and I'm the man." - Peter Griffin, Family Guy
Let's all laugh now because in about two sentences you're probably not going to like me very much. You can go ahead and substitute "Lois" for "Hillary" and "Peter" for "America" ... The American media, actually, and its blatant, unchallenged double standard in "reporting" on the Democratic candidates.
[Soapbox] 
A customer in the card shop where I work took a step back from the Father's Day wall in disgust. "My dad doesn't know how to fix anything!" she said, referring to the preponderance of tool-related greeting cards celebrating the holiday. "He doesn't golf, doesn't fish," she added, negating about 80 percent of the rest of her options. Eventually, she left the store empty-handed, presumably to find a place that sold something fitting her reality.
Odds are, she'll have a hard time finding it.
[Soapbox] 
Ah ... graduation. Your family's proud and you're scared shitless. Some will spend this summer looking for a grown-up job, others will take full advantage of the last few months to postpone reality, while others will go through another transformation—to their chest ... or some other part of their body.
[Soapbox] 
At some point, you've wanted that loud neighbor to keep quiet so badly that you considered lifting your finger to your lips and hissing a "Shh!"
But like me, you probably didn't.
[Soapbox] 
It's been about one month since I moved into my first apartment in Jamaica Plain, where the thick smell of pastelitos and the booming sounds of reggaeton permeate the air. Honestly, my heart swells like a pubescent boy's penis when I say, "Me encanta el barrio."
There's just one problem: my roommate.
I will call her "Juanita" for privacy's sake, though I highly doubt that she would read this (or anything, for that matter).
